Home » Play Today * Parent Perspective

Stories to outrage you, ideas to inspire you, and photos of playgrounds to make you go 'ooooh'.

Play Today * Parent Perspective

In the wake of tragedy, six tips for coping through play

Posted by Jill Mays on December 18, 2012
in
Share

Like many others across the country and world, we were left speechless by the horrific events at Sandy Hook Elementary School. We turned to Jill Mays, an occupational therapist who specializes in play therapy, for advice on how to move forward. Here's what she has to say:

As the enormity of the tragedy in Newtown, Conn. sets in, parents search for ways to help their children in a seemingly hostile world.  Many sites help guide parents on what to say and how to address the crisis, based on the child’s age and comprehension of the situation. These are extremely important to review and have at the ready if and when your child is ready to talk.

Whether or not you’ve had “the talk,” know your child needs more at this critical time to feel loved, safe, and secure.

Despite our compelling need for more information regarding the crisis, this is the time to put down the electronics. Put on a pair of jeans and get down on the floor to play with your child.  Bring out the favorite stuffed toys or action figures, the building blocks, trucks, and ponies.  Children feel safe expressing their feelings when they pretend with toys. 

Here are some tips on how to proceed:

  1. Keep the play open-ended. Let your child create the dialog and scenarios.
     
  2. Respond to expressed emotions with neutral and supportive comments (e.g. that must have felt scary for McQueen; looks like Thomas is very angry).
     
  3. Play on the floor. This allows you to move around using large muscles, which relieves stress and calms the child down.
     
  4. Don’t force the issue of expressing emotions. When a child sees a grown-up close by, playing on the floor, they intuitively feel more secure and loved.
     
  5. For older children, create outlets for pent up feelings. Doing a physical activity alongside your child (e.g. a walk or jog) or playing a board game creates the space to have a heartfelt conversation without the pressure.
     
  6. For very young children without language, bring cushions, pillows and comforters to the designated play area. Climb over pillow-mountains and crawl under blanketed tables. Create a sense of adventure. The movement creates a calming response in the brain. It will help you and your loved one feel better.

After all the horseplay, curl up with a favorite book and hold each other tight. Big hugs help the most.

Related Posts

Comments

The P.E. teacher that every child needs

Posted by Julie Hussey on November 20, 2012
in
Share

When asked about his school day recently, my nine-year-old son was faster than usual to share. “We have a new PE teacher and class is more fun than last year.”  My seven-year-old piped in, “We play games like capture the flag and ultimate soccer.” Nodding my head between bites of grilled chicken, I knew I wanted to meet this physical education teacher who was generating such enthusiasm at our dinner table. 

Lindsay Frank—or Ms. Lindsay, as her students call her—believes in the value of play, and this sets her apart.  Rather than focusing on drills, as she was taught by her education professors, she wants her students to take advantage of their natural desire for fun. 

Her inspiration comes from a 6th grade PE teacher who made PE so wonderful that Ms. Lindsay could not imagine a better calling.

The Nike-initiated report Designed to Move: Framework for Action convinced Ms. Lindsay she was heading in the right direction. For generations, physical activity and childhood were considered to be as connected as yin and yang or milk and cookies, but as Designed to Move’s research shows, “physical activity is systematically designed, innovated, and engineered out of daily life.” Elevators replace stairs, motorized scooters replace bikes, and “here’s the iPad” replaces “go outside.” 

Ms. Lindsay’s PE students recognize that she is unusual, and national trends toward organized sports and repetitive drills support their perspective. Outside of school, kids are enrolling in traditional team sports at younger ages, but as KaBOOM! CEO Darell Hammond points out:

This trend isn’t necessarily setting the stage for an active lifestyle later on in life -- 70 percent of kids give up sports entirely by age 13. When asked by Michigan State University researchers why they quit sports, kids almost universally said, "It's not fun anymore."

With almost half of her students under the age of 10, Ms. Lindsay is working with them at a time when they are shaping their future preferences and motivations. By making the activities in her class accessible to all students, appropriate for their ages, and, most importantly, fun, she helps them develop positive attitudes toward physical activity, which teaching them essential life skills, such as confidence, cooperation, and creativity.   

And the way I see it, these skills are far more important than throwing a perfect pitch.

 

Here are two of Lindsay Frank’s favorite games:

Everyone is "it":
Upon a starting signal, students are encourage to try and tag
as many fellow players as they can. Tagged players must kneel on the ground,  remember who tagged them, and stay until they are freed when the person who tagged them is tagged. Fun comes when students tag each other at the same time and must play rock-paper-scissors. The loser has to kneel and the winner gets to stay in.

 

Ultimate Soccer:
Players are divided into two teams. There are no boundaries, no goalies, and no positions. Players must work together to score on soccer goals. Anyone can defend the goal, but they cannot use their hands unless they are in the goal. If a goal is scored, the person who retrieves the ball from the goal may throw it out or kick it to continue the game. Because there are no rules about where players should be on the field, players get to find out by themselves if they prefer to kick the ball on or try to defend the goals. It is a continuous play game with little lag time so players are constantly moving.

Related Posts

Comments

Every neighborhood needs a playground and a pub

Posted by Julie Hussey on October 1, 2012
in
Share

Every neighborhood should have at least one good playground, and every neighborhood should have at least one good pub.

Having had the opportunity to observe both of them within our block, I find myself advocating for both playgrounds and pubs because all humans need more opportunities for play and social interaction. When we consider pubs as more than bars and parks as more than playground equipment, we appreciate their real value as what urban sociologist Ray Oldenburg calls “third places”—those gathering spots that are neither home nor work nor school.

To be clear, I am not talking about specialty bars that are targeted to specific audiences and propped by alcohol specials. Successful pubs and taverns are less about alcohol consumption and more about conversational word play with others. Neighborhood playgrounds, accessible by walkers, focused on individual interactions and exploration, are also different from mega parks, with multiple fields primarily for organized group activities. 

We all need a place in our neighborhood where everybody knows our name.

As someone who was single well into her 30s, I spent plenty of time observing life in pubs. Now, with two children and a home office in a window-filled corner, I find my attention turning to life in the small playground behind our house.

We have a big yard, with plenty of space to run around. There is even a beloved rope swing hanging from the canopy of a live oak tree, but playing in a yard is different than playing in a park. A yard comes with boundaries that require invitations to cross. Parks, like all good third places, are accessible to all who want to use them.

It can be hard to start a conversation with someone walking by a fence, but it’s easy to strike up a conversation while swinging on a swing, or waiting for the slide. A stranger in a yard could be an intruder, but a stranger in a park could be a friend. That’s precisely why one of my sons, upon spotting a potential playmate, yells to the other, “Someone is in the park, someone is in the park!” before running out the door.

Oldenburg writes about the role of regulars play in third places, and I see it out my window. When a tether ball was added to the park, it attracted older kids, including a 12-year-old neighbor. Some days she comes by herself. Some days she brings friends and newcomers.

Before long, she became known as a regular and started to model park behavior for others. Her willingness to play with kids of all ages and her approachability has set a tone for the park that is better than any list of rules or adult monitor could establish. 

In much the same way that I eventually moved on from the pub, in time this tether-ball-playing, benevolent park regular will want to move onto another third place. But when regulars have established a stable, welcoming, home-like spirit, such a void can be easily filled by others who have been mentored to continue the community.

If we want adults to “play nicely,” positively contribute to a community, and interact with a variety of people at pubs and other adult gathering spots, we need good playgrounds and other child-friendly gathering spots where kids can practice these skills.

Related Posts

Comments

The 5 C's of a great playground

Posted by Kerala Taylor on August 14, 2012
in
Share

Our Summer Playground Challenge just drew to a close, during which over 60 parents explored local playgrounds with their kids, adding over 4,000 new photos to our Map of Play! We asked our newly minted play experts what it is that distinguishes a good playground from a great one.

From their many thoughtful responses, we’ve culled the 5 C’s of a great playground:

1. Creative

Many post-and-platform playgrounds offer the same play options over and over again. A great playground offers something new.

“I like playgrounds that offer interesting options to play on. Clambering up huge tires versus a wall or having a four person teeter-totter as opposed to two changes things up a little.” – Fezeka Saige

2. Comfortable

A great playground offers simple amenities that keep parents and kids playing longer.

“Shade and water fountains are a must! Children usually want to play during the afternoon but with the sun many times it’s not possible. Clean water fountains are also extremely important since kids finish exhausted after so much play.” – Alicia Vazquez

3. Communal

A great playground isn’t just for kids. It’s a gathering space for an entire community, from tots to teens to grandparents.

“I look for a sense of community in a playground. I also like seeing people of all ages... from older people practicing tai chi or playing chess and answering questions from my kids, to the teenagers, to the parents of kids like myself.” – Alex Nguyen

4. Conspicuous

A playground that’s hard to find risks being underutilized. A visible playground teeming with children inspires passersby to stop and play! 

I think [playgrounds] are best when people can see that they are there and that people are playing there. – Dana Wheatley

5. Connected

We know that play is not limited to the playground! A great playground is connected to other play opportunities, particularly green space or other natural elements. 

“My favorites have always been those with lots of trees… and trails for riding bikes. Bonus: if the playground has great view!! We have some here on top of the hill or on higher parts of the city, and it's such a pleasure to be at those playgrounds.”  - Annie

Photos from to bottom: Angelika Paul, KT, torbakhopper (cc), Sasha Yetter.

Related Posts

Comments

5 Playground Olympic events your kids would rock

Posted by Kerala Taylor on July 31, 2012
in
Share

Let the games begin! Since our brave Playground Challengers are spending quite a bit of time playing this summer, we asked them what Olympic events their kids would rock... if the Olympics were held at the playground.

Here are five of our favorite new Playground Olympic events -- plus one event we hope your kids don't champion!

In which of the following would your kids take home the Gold? Got any new Playground Olympic events to add to our list?

  • "Both my kids would get a gold medal in giving their mom a heart attack! How do they both manage to find the ONE thing that makes me sprint like a maniac?" - Amy Keyishian (Photo by Eric Lewis, cc)
  • "My youngest, who is six, would win the 'I have no fear so I disappear' playground event. You have to keep an eye on this one, she's quick!" - Myrdin Thompson (Photo by W2 a-w-f-i-l, cc)
  • "My six year old said she would beat any kid at running while hula hooping on the playground." - Elizabeth Bonin (Photo by Steven Depolo, cc)
  • "My almost three and four year old do endurance - they are two-hours-in-the-sandbox kind of players." - Angelika Paul (Photo by Alec Couros, cc)
  • "If there was a 'hot lava' competition where my kids didn't have to touch the playground floor? They'd totally own that." - Alex Nguyen (Photo by Nate McBean, cc)
  • "Oldest son? He's back at the house participating in the Summer Couch Olympics. So far he has a gold medal in eating an entire bag of goldfish crackers in one sitting." - Myrdin Thompson

Related Posts

Comments

What's your favorite memory of playing with dad?

Posted by Kerala Taylor on June 14, 2012
in
Share

Did you ever used to roughhouse with Dad? You may not have known it at the time, but according to the National Institute for Play, he was teaching you valuable life skills, like "social awareness, cooperation, fairness and altruism." He was also helping you learn to regulate your feelings and behavior.

When outlining the benefits to children of having involved fathers, ChildWelfare.gov points out, "Fathers spend a much higher percentage of their one-on-one interaction with infants and preschoolers in stimulating, playful activity than do mothers." And it is through play, says Mike Hall, founder of Strong Fathers-Strong Families, that "fathers can better control the laboratory that helps children learn to deal with the frustration and anxiety that accompany true learning."

But you and Dad were just having fun, which is of course the most widely appreciated benefit of play. Unlike math homework, it never felt like learning. In honor of Father's Day, let's take a moment to celebrate the joys (and frustrations?) of playtime with Dad.

Take a moment to share with us your favorite memory of playing with Dad in the comments section below.

We'll feature our three favorite comments on our blog and send the commenters a free copy of our new Go Out and Play! book, a collection of great outdoor games!

Related Posts

Comments

5 reasons why parents need to play this summer

Posted by Liza Sullivan on June 4, 2012
in
Share

The summer of 2010 was a summer I will always remember—but not because of an exotic vacation or cross-country road trip or adventure-filled summer camp. Instead, I stayed right at home and explored local playgrounds with my twins. We were one of six families to participate in the first-ever KaBOOM! Summer Playground Challenge.

When the Challenge ended, I observed a marked change in my children – they appeared healthier, happier, stronger, and more self-confident. While everyone knows that outdoor play is  beneficial for kids, what I didn’t expect was how transformative the Challenge proved for mom as well!

Here are five reasons why parents should join the 2012 Playground Challenge:

  1. Regular outdoor play is good for the soul. Activities like swinging, building sandcastles, rolling down grassy hills, and running through a fountain on hot summer days help you feel like a kid again. You will also have incentive to escape from computers, piles of laundry, and other distractions.
     
  2. It’s easier to get your kids to bed. Each day will provide your children with opportunities to be physically active as they increase their strength, coordination, and endurance. As a result, they won’t be as squirmy at home and will rarely have trouble falling asleep at night!
     
  3. Play opens doors to teachable moments. Rather than constantly playing the role of disciplinarian, you become a support to your child’s exploration, discovery, and learning. As you explore playgrounds and nature areas, your children will undoubtedly ask you endless questions, and each day will be filled with teachable moments.
     
  4. You meet new people in your neighborhood. As you explore, you will inevitably strike up conversations with other parents, contributing to a sense of community and connectedness. This can be particularly meaningful for stay-at-home parents – a job that is sometimes very isolating.
     
  5. Your family can experience new places right at home. Many participants, myself included, found that until they took on the Challenge, they were unaware of the surprising number of parks, playgrounds, and nature preserves in or near their community. They discovered hidden gems and explored nearby neighborhoods they had never had reason to visit before.

As a gift to yourself and your children this summer, allow for plenty of time to play, and consider being a part of the national 2012 Playground Challenge!

The 2012 Summer Playground Challenge asks parents to visit playgrounds and add them to our Map of Play using our soon-to-be released Tag! mobile app. If you need another reason to join our Challenge, participants will earn points and badges toward great prizes throughout the summer and toward one of three Grand Prizes--a trip for two to Washington, DC! Sign up for more information here.

Photo by Liza Sullivan, 2010.

Related Posts

Comments

Leave your children at the park and your paranoia at bay

Posted by Darell Hammond on May 16, 2012
in
Share

"Take Our Children to the Park... and Leave Them There Day" (Saturday, May 19) has a provocative name for a reason: to call attention to itself.

Had Free Range Kids founder Lenore Skenazy, who originally came up with the idea, named it, "Give Your Children A Chance To Gather Outside With Other Neighborhood Children and Engage in Unstructured, Unsupervised Play for an Hour or Two," I'm not sure that so many people would be taking notice.

Parental paranoia has risen dramatically over the last two decades. It's a trend driven by fear--fear of crime, fear of injury, and even fear of children growing up to be failures. Some parents, like Lenore, have decided that enough is enough.

The world has dangers, yes, but it is not the inherently evil, threatening place that we often make it out to be. As Lenore and others point out, rates of violent crime are lower today than they were in 1974, according to the Bureau of Justice Statistics, and have been steadily declining since the 1990s. Parents fret about child abductors while carting their children around in cars, even though kids are nearly 12 times more likely to die in a car wreck than they are to get kidnapped by a stranger.

And yet, people accuse Lenore of being "out of her tree."

All that she is asking, really, is that parents use their common sense. She is not issuing a decree that ALL parents MUST take their children to the park this Saturday and leave them there... or else! This day is really all about empowering, not endangering, children. Lenore is hoping that by making a big deal over leaving kids to play together at a park, it will, over time, cease to be a big deal.

As Lenore puts it,

"Clearly we are in the middle of a vicious cycle--there are no kids outside so I won't let MY kids outside, so there are no kids outside, so you don't let YOUR kids outside, so I don't let MY kids outside, etc., etc., etc--which is why the holiday (or whatever it is) is even necessary. It is a day to break the cycle. A day to get kids outside to meet each other and re-learn the lost art of playing!"

Will you be taking your kids to the park... and leaving them there?

A longer version of this piece originally appeared on The Huffington Post.

Related Posts

Comments