Play Today

In November KaBOOM! launched its first guest blogging contest, asking parents to muse about their experiences with play. We received lots of entries, and while it was tough, managed to narrow it down. Over the next ten weeks we will be publishing the top ten, and we hope you enjoy reading them as much as we did! Congratulations to all of our winners. In 4th place is Victoria Green from Boca Raton, Florida…

You know that stereotypical childhood spent outdoors that parents these days wish their children could have? The one with kids roaming free through the neighborhood, digging in the dirt, climbing trees and playing outside until after dark in the summer? Yep, I had that, growing up in Rhode Island in the 70s and 80s.

Now I have two boys, ages 5 and 2, and we live in a townhouse in south Florida. Many of the things I experienced as a child aren’t available here: big backyards, friendly neighborhood moms who invite you in for a drink of water, the ability to walk home from school. My friends and I spent some time bemoaning those differences, until I realized: my kids don’t know what they’re missing.

We do have a yard. Ok, yes, it’s tiny. But so what? My kids are tiny. The yard has grass and bushes and rocks and bugs and lizards and sea shells. Nature! And we have a long driveway which we share with our neighbors that also has some bushes and trees. Perfect for riding trikes and bikes, drawing with chalk, blowing bubbles and squirting one another with the hose. Our neighborhood abuts the Intracoastal Waterway. Just a short walk down the road and we can play on a sandy beach, see pelicans flying overhead and watch fish jumping. We can check to see if the tide is high or low, and whether any treasures have washed up on our shore.

One day last week, after a rain shower, my kids and I went out into our driveway to play. The boys immediately started splashing in a puddle. My older son got a bucket and made some mud, which he smeared onto a tree. After a while, he pulled some leaves off a bush and plastered those into the mud: a messy, oozy poultice.

While we were out, our neighbor directly across the driveway came home with her two girls, ages 5 and 7. They looked longingly at my muddy, wet boys and asked if they could play outside, too. Their mom looked aghast and hustled them inside immediately.

Sometimes, the opportunity for play is there, but you just have to look a bit harder to find it.

Playgrounds….a play on words…leveling the playing field…play into someone’s hands….play ball….playing around…play fair….play fighting….play by the rules…plays well with others…..etc.

The word play is part of our culture…our expression…our language. As humans we play as a natural necessity and for children it is their preferred form of communication. In fact, play is essential for both physical and mental health.

From lullabies, to peek-a-boo, to playground adventures… to family board games… to sports…we communicate and connect through play. Observing children at play on a playground, or anywhere where play is allowed, one bears witness to a variety of relationship skills and stories. Playgrounds are ripe with opportunities for social skills, imagination, creativity, conflict resolution, and learning. It is through play that children’s thoughts, emotions, needs and wishes are expressed.

Yet…we have to honor and show interest in play. We have to take time for play that is imaginative and know that play helps connections.  We have to ensure it becomes part of the experiences we value for our children and for ourselves.

It’s easy to be too tired to play….it’s easy to be too busy. Many years ago, as a pregnant working mom (a play therapist in an elementary schools no less) I was exhausted one afternoon after picking my daughter up from day care.

“Mom can we play?”

Usually those magical words would be a wonderful invitation, but not that afternoon. That afternoon my response was “Oh Katie, not right now…I’m so tired. Why don’t you find something else to do besides play?” 

She titled her head, and a confused expression came over her face. She eloquently responded with the wisdom delightfully capable of a four year old…“But Mom, playing is what I do!”

There you go….Child development lesson 101.  Parent education lesson 101. If we want to connect and communicate with children, we must be grounded in their language of play!

In November KaBOOM! launched its first guest blogging contest, asking parents to muse about their experiences with play. We received lots of entries, and while it was tough, managed to narrow it down. Over the next ten weeks we will be publishing the top ten, and we hope you enjoy reading them as much as we did! Congratulations to all of our winners. In 6th place is Connie Krebs from Lakewood, Ohio…

As a parent you want your children to be safe, but it seems to me that parents today are taking this mantra a bit too far. All across the country phrases like, "Stop running!" and "Don't climb that, you'll get hurt!" are being said in parks and places where children are meant to run, play, climb, dig, and fall.

I was sitting at the park watching my two oldest daughters climb and yell to their heart's content, playing games with other children and digging in the mud left from the last rain. Next to me was a mother who had a son about three years old. She was in the little boy's face, telling him what to do and what not to do. "Kyle, come slide down the slide! No, put down the wood chips, come over here and slide so I can take your picture. Kyle, come here!!! Put the stick down, you will get hurt…." It went on and on, becoming an annoying drone that poor little Kyle chose to ignore, to which his mother responded with even more demands. I so wanted to tell that mother to just let her child be, to let him pick up the stick or wood chips, that dirt washes off, and everything would be ok.

I remember as a child playing Red Rover with the neighborhood kids. I was tiny for my age so I was almost always called over – the kids liked seeing me flip over their well-linked hands I guess. Memories of playing hide-and go seek throughout the neighborhood, mastering the monkey bars, getting propelled off the see-saw... these are things that enhanced my childhood and taught me many life lessons. (One being, hiding in poison ivy is definitely not a great idea!) It worries me to see so many children deprived of the freedom to just play. When do they get to run and shout? How are they going to learn the lesson of perseverance if they aren't allowed to at least try?

I am not asking that parents ignore their child or not stop them from doing something that is really dangerous, like playing in a busy street. There is a distinct difference between neglect and keeping a distant but watching eye on your child while letting him or her have some freedom. I beg fellow parents to just take a step back and savor the experiences that natural play has to offer. You will be amazed at what your child can do, what they enjoy. They will gain so much more than if you try to direct their every move. Please, just let them play!